Last Official M'cca Trip :(

Our last trip to Malacca to the house we all love.... It's so hard to say goodbye, sometimes, but that's the trouble with life. Nothing ever lasts...

This is Jonker Street... Where we like going at night, mostly, but rarely get to, coz our parents think that we still need "adult" supervision. Someone please define "adult" for me!!!!!

Sheryll and me.. I dunno. I look like Steph's sister, and she looks like Steph's sister, but do we look like sisters? Naw, not really. Sigh.

This is us with Mr. Lukas from the Czech Republic :) One of the nicest guys I've ever met.. And they say I have bad taste. Hah!

Satay Celup!!! What was left of it, at any rate :P We ate a LOT. Even after a crazily heavy dinner. But then, we always eat a lot in Malacca. *moans* My poor waistline!

Me and Chen... She's back from the U.S. but gone to Singapore for a bit. Sigh.. Seems like everyone's upping and leaving.

2 Generations of Lim Sisters :) And it looks like we're following in their food steps. Hehe. And no, the spelling of that is NOT wrong! ;)

Ting and her prawns! It's always prawns! Prawn Queen! Wooooooooh! (K, I'm psycho hehehe).

This is us playing 'Take Two'... seems like a simple, boring game, but it's addictive. Think Scrabble, but 100 times faster - and when played with a bunch of naturally competitive people... Haha.

This is us cam-whoring on the last night of our stay there, before we started playing Pictionary at around.. I dunno, 4 a.m.? Hehe.

And this is how we sleep - in the hall, all squashed up together. It's good stuff, and probably something we'll miss a LOT. Is it any wonder we're so close? ;)

Discoveries

Ah yes.. It is interesting to note that chivalry is not as dead as it seems.. There are still guys who would step off curbs to help a blind girl cross the street, who appreciate how much a girl's virginity means to her, who still hold open doors and pull out chairs.... Feminism is all well and good, but who says a girl doesn't like being looked after every once in awhile?

On another note - we had a good time in KL. I doubt I'll ever regret anything about that day! :) Just a pity we never go to eat them durians. Hehe.. And now I've got He's Got The Whole World In His Hands stuck in my head. Whoopee. Yay Lukas!

PS: Thanks a whole bunch, Subu! :) *hugs*

-n-

How do people come to terms with things in their head? I just can't seem to.. No matter how many times I run through something, list out the pros and cons and generally figure out what is best for ME, the person, I inevitably come to the same conclusion: maybe I'm not strong enough to let go, even if it's detrimental to my well-being as a whole.

I suppose I'm just being stubbornly idealistic. Or is it just that my heart knows just how much pain I'd be in if I go through with what I know I should, and it's rebelling against it with everything it's got. Sigh.. Damned if I do, damned if I don't, to quote a much overused, but sadly appropriate cliche.

So how do you weigh degrees of pain anyway? How do you know that the choice your making is the right one? And how do you come to a decision to end what could potentially be the best thing in your life, because at the moment it's what's causing the greatest damage, emotionally?

I've tried to be strong, but I'm not that strong. I can't hold on to someone that doesn't want to be held on to..

It's like a man dangling over the edge of a cliff, and all that's keeping him from falling is your grasp around his wrist. The only problem is, he isn't gripping back... and there's only so much you can do on your own. Sooner or later, that fragile hold will slip, and then what? You're left with a dreadful uncertainty...

Did you do all you could to hang on? Maybe there was some inner reserve of strength that you could've tapped into that would've made all the difference. Maybe your grip wasn't right, if only you had just held on in a different way, a different angle that would've made it harder for him to slip away...

But then the nasty thought invades the self-doubt that maybe, just maybe, he WANTED to slip away. That's why he never tried to hold on to your hand, too, even just a little.

How do you deal with a situation like this? When everything seems to close in around you and you don't know what the right choices are anymore. Because I will eventually have to make some hard choices, and I really am not at all sure that I'm up to the task.

Awww....

The big baby feeding the little baby :) How cute is that?! Haha.. That's my little god-daughter, Rachel, and my "little" baby brother, David, with the littlest cousin of us all, May, looking on :)

Nyonya Food Night!

Ah tis time for more pictures! What's the use of being the BBC if we don't produce the evidence? Hehe.. The subject of this particular bunch of pictures is the potluck at Aunty Bee's! :)

For those of you who haven't had the opportunity to see/try Nyonya food before, this is it! I know some of it looks strange as heck, but I can guarantee that it tastes amazing! :)

Sharm and me.. Sarsi advertisment models! And that's Ting - she's a good testament to how good Nyonya food really is! :D

Me and Sharmo again.. Posers betul! :P

We are indeed a very closely-knit group of cousins... Lol. We like squashing up together to take pictures.. it's good for cousinly morale. Hehehe.

And lastly.. I promised you a glimpse of just how many girls there are in the Lim family.. Well, this bunch + the 6 that weren't there.. That's 15 girls, folks. And a measly 6 guys. Hehe! We win by a mile! Wooooh!

KLCC Obsession :)

In exactly a week, we'd been to KLCC twice. And took pictures in the park! :) Haha.. These are just some of the photos we took there.. Big Bad Camwhores strike again! Wooot! :D (Click on the pics to see the larger versions).

Steph and me... don't we look like sisters? :)

Our Sunday School teacher mistook us for twins.. even when our registration forms said "Stephanie Lim" and "Elaine Fernandez"!!!! :D

Me and Sheryll.. Steph's REAL sis :) Poor dear, she's been inducted into the DEDS KLCC Obsession.. she's almost as bad as us now! Hehe.

That's us and Andrew... He's a dude from Sterling, Scotland, studying in Dundee. He's another victim of our cam-whoring, KLCC obsessed ways. Poor thing. What an introduction to Malaysian youth! *shakes head sadly*

And what's 2 trips to KLCC without a picture of the infamously notorious DEDS? We still be the bestest cousins you could ever find. Tis just a pity we get into so much shit that no one trusts us anymore! :P

Last Request

This song just reminded me of someone.. Twas such a sad situation. Sigh.. Oh well...

Slow down, lie down,
Remember it's just you and me.
Don't sell out, bow out,
Remember how this used to be.

I just want you closer,
Is that alright?
Baby let's get closer tonight

Grant my last request,
And just let me hold you.
Don't shrug your shoulders,
Lay down beside me.
Sure I can accept that we're going nowhere,
But one last time let's go there,
Lay down beside me

Oh, I've found, that I'm bound
To wander down that one way road.
And I realise all about your lies
But I'm no wiser than the fool I was before.

I just want you closer,
Is that alright?
Baby let's get closer tonight

Grant my last request,
And just let me hold you.
Don't shrug your shoulders,
Lay down beside me.
Sure I can accept that we're going nowhere,
But one last time let's go there,
Lay down beside me

Oh, baby, baby, baby,
Tell me how can, how can this be wrong?

Grant my last request,
And just let me hold you.
Don't shrug your shoulders,
Lay down beside me.
Sure I can accept that we're going nowhere,
But one last time let's go there,
Lay down beside me (x2)

Yeah, lay down beside me.

One last time let's go there,
Lay down beside me

"Sleep"Over!

Totally redefining the meaning of "sleepover" :D

Yes!

Another sleepover after sooo long. All of us were together, 'cept for Yin, who's well on her way to be getting her P license! Now we'll have 5 drivers, therefore more options for designated driver. Hehe. Wooh!

As usual, none of our days are normal, so we started our sleepover on the back of one hell of a strange day - the weirdest birthday we've ever celebrated with David, poor soul. Then we go back home and spend the night taking pictures (yes, Sandy, we are indeed the greatest camwhores living), jumping around to New Shoes and Closing Time, sleeping layered like cheese layered on pizza on Dave's single bed, ordering take-out McDs at 2 a.m... yep, all in all the typical cousin no-sleepover! :)

Took MORE pictures at Aunty Bee's house, where we had absolutely fantastic Nyonya food (even if I did put on, like, 20 pounds from it) and played with our little niece, Rachel (who is actually a really smart baby!). I'll put up some pics when I get them.. then you can see just how many girls there are in my family. And gorgeous ones, at that! *winks at all cousins coz all cousins are girls (with the exception of Jono - sorry boy! :P)*

Next stop? MALACCA!!! For the last time! Mama's house! Jetty! FOOOOOOOD!!!

Hehehehehe.

PS: JU LI'S HOME!! WooooOOooHOooOoooOO! :D

These Streets

I finally managed to get Paolo Nutini's album... I must admit this isn't usually the sort of music I listen to, but I actually kinda like his album. Okay, so I bought it solely coz I love New Shoes (surprised, anyone? :P), but I ended up liking most of the songs..

Maybe it's got to do with the fact that he sings with a distinct Scottish accent. Haha!

Now all I've gotta do is look for Elliott Yamin's album and my "summer CD collection" drive will be complete! Yeeehaww!

This is Elaine.. sigining off! *salutes*

The Black Duke

Last Sunday night was strangely fun.

D took me onboard a Royal Navy ship from Britain - the HMS Monmouth (also called the Black Duke, apparently after a duke who tried to usurp the throne and got his head cut off for it :P).

Anyway, I was expecting to be either bored out of my mind or highly amused - I mean, I did go with D! :) But curiously enough, I wasn't bored for more than a couple of minutes. D was looking for sailor boys, but I found the officers a heck of a lot more interesting to talk to.

Okay, so they were considerably older than I am, but since when has that ever been a problem for me? :P They were friendly, and incredibly easy to talk to (even if one of them said I looked like a rabbit caught in headlights.. haha!). And they kept me entertained, pretty much the whole night.

Although, I WAS highly amused, as predicted. D's antics were hilarious, to say the least, and I just thank God that the officers found her preoccupation with seeing sailor boys amusing instead of insulting! :P

That night reinforced my love for the British sense of humour. And also their more reserved and less in your face ways... Maybe that's why I was much more comfortable than I probably would've been on an American ship or something.

It was a good experience.. It's just a pity when you only meet someone for a couple of hours then never see them again. That's the part that sucked. But I'll always have the memories of my first time aboard a navy ship.. and they'll always be really goood ones :)

Courage, My Dear, Courage!

I've never been particularly impulsive.. I often worry over an idea so much that I end up discarding it because most times, the cons outweigh the pros.

This time, though, I'm doing something so completely out of character that my stomach feels like it's been displaced and if I clench my teeth any more than I am now, my father'll have to make me some of his implant thingies, coz I won't have any left.

But why am I doing it, if it's going to make this nervous and skittish as hell? Hm.. I dunno. But I do know that for once in my life I want to try and do what FEELS right, not what I've thought through a gazillion times. I'm sick of doing the safe thing.

Who knows? This gamble may pay off.. I could end up with mud in my face, or I could gain something that's quite hard to find. Either way, at least I can give myself a pat on the back and truly say that for the first time EVER, I wasn't a coward and went after what I wanted.

Whoopee! Strong words.. now I just have to go through with it :P

Thoughts on Love and Marriage By Our Children...

I got this from A Joke A Day.. and some of the answers literally made me laugh out loud :) Take a note guys: Next time you kiss a girl, you're honour-bound to marry her *grins wickedly* Hm.. I don't think I'll be doing any kissing anytime soon, either. Hehe.

HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO TO MARRY?
You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming.
-- Alan, age 10

No person really decides before they grow up who they're going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you're stuck with.
-- Kristen, age 10

WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED?
Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then.
-- Camille, age 10

HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED?
You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids.
-- Derrick, age 8

WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON?
Both don't want any more kids.
-- Lori, age 8

WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?
Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough.
-- Lynnette, age 8 (isn't she a treasure)

On the first date, they just tell each other lies and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date.
-- Martin, age 10

WHAT WOULD YOU DO ON A FIRST DATE THAT WAS TURNING SOUR?
I'd run home and play dead. The next day I would call all the newspapers and make sure they wrote about me in all the dead columns.
-- Craig, age 9

WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?
When they're rich.
-- Pam, age 7

The law says you have to be eighteen, so I wouldn't want to mess with that.
-- Curt, age 7

The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry them and have kids with them. It's the right thing to do.
-- Howard, age 8

IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED?
It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them.
-- Anita, age 9 (bless you child)

HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN'T GET MARRIED?
There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn't there?
-- Kelvin, age 8

And The #1 Response Was...

HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK?
Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a dump truck.
-- Ricky, age 10

Very Fair Indeed! :)

I went to see My Fair Lady The Musical yesterday... And while I'll always love the movie version the most, I must say that I totally enjoyed the stage performance! I never thought it'd be anywhere close to being as good the movie, but they did it so well that one wouldn't even bother with comparisons - it has a charm all its own.

If you guys haven't seen it, or are planning to, I urge you to go... tis an experience that shouldn't be missed! It'll be staged til the 20th of May and you can get tickets here.

However, it must be said that no one will ever replace Rex Harrison as Henry Higgins, no matter how good they are! :)

MP Fiasco *shakes head sadly*

I just realised.. I'll be eligible to vote next year. And tis a good thing I read the newspapers, because I would've otherwise blindly voted for the "stronger" party who I think is doing an okay job of keeping the country together.

However, I would like to know this: How do you vote for people who do not have a shred of decency and courtesy? (Mind, I'm not talking about the entire party, just a few public figures who are a disgrace not only to themselves and their parties, but Malaysians in general).

I would like to think that the MPs, the very people who form the laws that govern us, would behave in more civilised manner than 7-year-olds having a brawl in the school hall. However, this doesn't seem to be the case with some of them.

What am I talking about, you ask? (And this is just ONE case, mind.. there were similar ones before.)

Read this excerpt taken from the Star website:

"The furore started last week in the Dewan Rakyat when opposition MPs tried to raise a motion on the leaking ceiling near the media centre.

Bung Mokhtar and Mohd Said then said, “Mana bocor? Batu Gajah pun bocor setiap bulan.” (Where is the leak? Batu Gajah (MP Fong Po Kuan) also leaks every month.) "

Just because a statement is deemed true, does not give anyone the right to make it. Especially not when you're in the process of an official discussion. It was just plain rude, it's as simple as that. And what was the reaction of Datuk Seri Mohamed Nazri Aziz, Minister in the Prime Minister’s Department?

“..To apologise to Fong is not on. I don’t agree.

“This is part of parliamentary debates. Both MPs uttered the words during the heat of their debate, and you cannot control people’s emotions.."
- Sharizat to meet with MPs (click on link for full story)

This is part of parliamentary debates? So that's how our MPs debate, is it? My god, for shame! And he can say that they should apologise to women in general, but not to the woman the statement was made to? Good golly gosh. How dumb does this man think the Malaysian public is, anyway, not to see the complete lack of logic in such a statement?

Oh I'm not so naive as to think that all the people we elect are decent human beings who know when they've said something wrong and apologize for it. But I would expect the party involved to take measures to make sure such people are properly chastised!

Hey, I know teenagers who debate in a much more decent manner than the above! It's possible to have an argument without resorting to degradation of any sort. But if we go on saying, "oh, you shouldn't take it seriously, it was just a joke" or "the media blew the whole thing completely out of proportion", then is this not condoning the situation? It is not just what was said that is the issue.. it is the entire principle of the matter!

Or has our government forgotten that one line in the Rukunegara, which they created to foster unity among people of different race, religion, creed, and heck, even gender, I might add?

"Kesopanan dan kesusilaan".

Tell me, please, did "kesopanan" come into the MPs statement at all? If it did not, they should apologize, not only to women in general, but to the one they said it to.. that's just common decency! Those who create the law should be the first ones to uphold it, and is not the Rukunegara one of the more important parts of our Constitution?

And tis not the first time such things are happening, if the reports are to be believed. So, by closing one eye (or both eyes and ears, as it seems in this case), the government has allowed such things to be so commonplace, that they try to justify with "This is part of parliamentary debates." It is truly a pathetic excuse.

If they want the support of us youngsters, "the future of the nation", as they like to call us, the government should step up and clean up their act before a whole lot of us are alienated. We're a generation who are more exposed to what's right and what's just plain wrong when it comes to the rights of human beings, and if they truly think they can get away with insulting our intelligence, well.. eventually they'll lose all those who actually CAN think for themselves, either to other parties, or worse, other countries.

As it is, I shall be thinking long and hard now about who I will vote for when the time comes. It's my country after all, and I do hate to see her shamed by a few people who show such a blatant disrespect for the people and the country that they claim to serve.

These Open Arms

What if everything you ever took for granted, was gone?
And everything you ever thought was right, was wrong?
And what if everyone you ever loved was torn, from the pages of your life?
Would you reach out for tomorrow, or try to turn back time?

These open arms will wait for you
These open arms can pull us through
Between what's left and left to do
These open arms
These open arms
These open arms will wait for you

Did you really love the ones you said you loved, think twice.
And did you make a bit of difference in somebody elses life?
Tell me, is there someone you can count on when you need a friend?
Can you see I need a friend?

These open arms will wait for you
These open arms can pull us through
Between whats left and left to do
These open arms
These open arms
These open arms will wait for you

Surrendering high
Give in, stop questioning why
Open your heart up to love & you'll see you will find

These open arms will wait for you
These open arms can pull us through
Between what's left and left to do
These open arms
These open arms
These open arms
These open arms
These open arms will wait for you

Self-rant

I wonder how some people can be so in control of their emotions... So much so that it sometimes feels like they don't have any. That's scary. But also a highly enviable position to be in.

I think I've mastered the art of disguising my feelings somewhat - I can put on a cheerful face when all I want to do is throw something at the wall and curse fate for all the insanity it keeps deciding to send my way. What I haven't managed to get a hold of, though, is how to keep those emotions at bay. The ones that creep up on you when you least expect them to and take you into a chokehold of pain so strong that you can barely breathe.

Am I being a tad melodramatic? Well, forgive me. I don't do well with pent-up anything, be it good feelings or bad. And while I've had more than my share of "good", it seems that at some point the bad must come in, and it hasn't decided to leave just yet.

Oh, I'm more than aware that allowing one's self to be hurt is 90% of the process of being hurt in the first place. However, tis easier said than done to place the blame solely at one's feet. Or maybe I'm just a coward. Huh. That'd explain a hell of a lot.

To top it off, I'm turning into someone I don't recognise.. I'm not a jealous person by nature. But lately my mind keeps heading out into forbidden territory and the ugly green monster (hey, it has my face on it after all!!! Haha :P) rears it's head. Sigh.

I want my old self back. The one who could just shrug off indifference and go about her daily business unaffected. I don't like self pity, but it seems I'm turning into the one thing I hate most - a hypocrite. Argh!

Seems this entire post is contradictory huh? Darn it all. Oh well.. just needed to rant at myself a little. Tis time I took the blame for SOME of the negative aspects of my life.

Huh.

I am frustrated. And it's the anxiety-ridden frustration too. Sigh.. I thought I was over all that a month ago, but I think everything's still so raw that just a slight hint of anything is like pouring acid on an open wound.

Once burned, twice shy? You don't know the half of it.

On Love...

When love beckons to you follow him,
Though his ways are hard and steep.
And when his wings enfold you yield to him,
Though the sword hidden among his pinions may wound you.
And when he speaks to you believe in him,
Though his voice may shatter your dreams as the north wind lays waste the garden.

For even as love crowns you so shall he crucify you. Even as he is your growth so is he for your pruning.
Even as he ascends to your height and caresses your tenderest branches that quiver in the sun,
So shall he descend to your roots and shake them in their clinging to the earth.

Like sheaves of corn he gathers you unto himself.
He threshes you to make you naked.
He sifts you to free you from your husks.
He grinds you to whiteness.
He kneads you until you are pliant;
And then he assigns you to his sacred fire that you may become sacred bread for God's sacred feast.
All these things shall love do unto you that you may know the secrets of your heart, and in that knowledge become a fragment of Life's heart.

But if in your fear you would seek only love's peace and love's pleasure,
Then it is better for you that you cover your nakedness and pass out of love's threshing floor,
Into the seasonless world where you shall laugh, but not all of your laughter, and weep, but not all of your tears.

Love gives naught but itself and takes naught but from itself.
Love possesses not nor would it be possessed;
For love is sufficient unto love.
When you love you should not say, "God is in my heart," but rather, "I am in the heart of God."
And think not that you can direct the course of love, for love, if it finds you worthy, directs your course.
Love has no other desire but to fulfil itself.

But if you love and must needs have desires, let these be your desires:
To melt and be like a running brook that sings its melody to the night.
To know the pain of too much tenderness.
To be wounded by your own understanding of love;
And to bleed willingly and joyfully.
To wake at dawn with a winged heart and give thanks for another day of loving;
To rest at the noon hour and meditate love's ecstasy;
To return home at eventide with gratitude;
And then to sleep with a prayer for the beloved in your heart and a song of praise upon your lips.

~ Khalil Gibran ~
1883 - 1931

Sevenses!

Got tagged by Kok Pun, so I figured I'd do it.. especially since it's all in 7s. My all time favourite number :) Haha..

[Seven Things I'm Experiencing Now]
1. Undecidedness.. can't really break down everything I'm experiencing right now :)
2. Feeling refreshed, if you can believe it, after swimming 30 laps just now.
3. A little sadness, too, coz one of my closest friends and mentor-like person is leaving for God-knows-where. Literally.
4. Apprehension.. I have loads to study by November. Yikes!
5. Melancholy... for all the usual reasons.
6. A bit of nostalgia..
7. Amusement - haven't done something like this in a long while.

[Seven Things I'm Thinking About Now]
1. How I'm possibly gonna be able to fill 7 slots for each heading :P
2. Of my bro and his decided bad luck/stupidity.
3. Whether I can possibly complete my syllabus by November :S
4. That I should really organise another Insanely Sane sleepover! *winks at Jen*
5. Er.. "Berpasir" *laughs hysterically* Only a few people'll possibly get THIS one! ;)
6. Wishing I was going for the karaoke session the U6S-ers are having tomorrow. Sigh.
7. Coffee.

[Seven Things I'm Worrying About]
1. My future, career-wise.
2. My future with a certain someone.. Scared to death is probably the more accurate description. Sigh.
3. Bloody STPM.
4. Whether I'll have enough money to get the Elliott Yamin and Vittorio Grigolo CDs. (Yes, I know his name sounds damn gay :P)
5. My inability to write properly anymore. Argh!
6. If anyone is going to read everything on this thingy.. lol.
7. The FA Cup final :)

[Seven Things I'm Happy About]
1. Being back in civilisation! :D
2. Knowing that my CHS friends actually still wanna keep in touch with me :)
3. Ju Li's coming home!!! *jumps up and down gleefully*
4. Aunty Jeanie came back!!! Haha!
5. Learning how to play Risk. Tis a fun game, it is!
6. Losing some weight in spite of gorging myself on Aunty Mary's incredible chicken curry yesterday.. hehe.
7. MANCHESTER UNITED WINNING THE PREMIERSHIP TITLE!!!! :D

[Seven People I Treasure]
1. My immediate family
2. My adult friends
3. My darling cousins
4. The Insanely Saners
5. Joyce and Lavi
6. My Net friends... esp those from the MI Forum and FP.
7. Sandy.

[Seven Things I Always Touch or Come In Contact With]
1. The computer mouse, keyboard, CPU.... :)
2. My book cabinet handle.. hehe.
3. My bed + pillow!
4. My "security T-shirt" *grins at Jenna*
5. A book a day, at least!
6. Study material.. sigh.
7. My body... *grins wickedly*

[Seven Things I Want to Improve]
1. Concentration levels.. I still have trouble keeping my mind on one thing at a time.
2. My intelligence... (KP: How bloody intelligent do you want to be?? You're already on par with Einstein or something!!! :P)
3. My Mandarin. Ya ya Yin.. don't you DARE laugh! *growls*
4. My people skills.. Apparently I'm as approachable as a starved tiger.
5. My musical ability... still pretty mediocre, although my ear's not too bad.
6. Fitness.. I'm still trying to recover from being a coach potato for so long *blushes*
7. Eating habits. Sigh.

[Seven Things I'm Strong In]
1. Reading? Lol...
2. Language .. English, to be precise.. at least, I used to be!
3. Wriggling out of awkward situations
4. I've got a pretty good ear for good/bad music.. can always tell if something's wrong with a song
5. Being a lame-ass :)
6. Scaring people away! Haha.. hell, I don't even have to try!
7. I'm a pretty good listener.. at least, I try my bestest to be :)

[Seven Things I'm Weak In]
1. MATH MATH MATH MATH MATH MATH!
2. Hiding emotions
3. Patience
4. Confrontations
5. Explaining myself clearly and concisely. Sigh.
6. Controlling my temper
7. Self confidence? :)

[Seven Things I Adore Eating]
1. CHOCOLATE!!!
2. Vanilla ice cream :)
3. Chilli tuna + rice.. Yum!
4. My spicy beef linguine :)
5. Japanese food
6. Famous Amos' Chocolate Chip Cookies
7. The Fisherman's Giant Platter in the Manhattan Fish Market! :P

[Seven Things I Adore Drinking]
1. Coffee! Lots and lots and lots!
2. Vodka lime
3. Really good wines
4. Campbell's tomato soup
5. Bailey's Irish Cream (do I sound like an alcoholic? :P)
6. Cold water
7. Rootbeer floats

[Seven Things I Detest]
1. Hypocrisy
2. Incompetency
3. Kiasu-ism
4. Fake fronts.. be yourself. That's all that matters.
5. Smelly fish
6. Unnecessary arguments
7. People who think it's ok to hurt someone else in order to look cool

[Seven Things I Cannot Live Without]
1. My closest friends
2. My cousins and bro
3. Music
4. Books!!!!
5. The computer + Internet
6. Contact with.. someone.
7. Love - all the types.

[Seven Things I Fear to Show]
1. Insecurity
2. Arrogance.. I hate that in people, so I always try to watch myself
3. Worry
4. Lack of confidence
5. How I feel about someone.. even now, I'm afraid that he'll just turn around and walk away.
6. My emotions
7. Dissatisfaction

[Seven Things I'll Never Want to Talk About]
1. Other people's secrets - they're not mine to share.
2. My fears and insecurites.
3. Intimate stuff about any guys in my life (if there ever are any).. some things should remain sacred.
4. My personal life in general..
5. My reasons for choosing certain directions - if I don't want to tell anyone, that's my prerogative.
6. Dissing other beliefs and religions.. I don't mind healthy discussions, but I draw the line at belittling something. It's disrespectful.
7. Results.. neither do I find it necessary for others to do so if they don't want to.

[Seven Things I Will Want to Do]
1. Graduate with a degree in something :P
2. Go backpacking 'round Europe :)
3. Get my Elliott Yamin CD!!!!
4. Work with kids
5. Start a family :)
6. Go for a Man Utd vs Liverpool/Chelsea/Arsenal game in Old Trafford!!!
7. Get a dog!!!!

[Seven Things I Will Never Play Around With]
1. Feelings. Not anymore.. sigh.
2. Road safety.. too many unnecessary fatalities these days
3. My future
4. Sensitive subjects
5. Sacred objects, regardless of which religion it's from
6. Relationships
7. Trust

[Seven Things I Wonder About]
1. If I'll do well this time
2. Why I'm feeling so insecure these days
3. If there's any way for my future to work out the way I want it to without destrying important relationships. Sigh.
4. Why I can't be friendlier
5. If I'll be able to lose all the milkshake pounds I put on in March. Argh.
6. Why people can't solve differences logically and rationally
7. If I'm really doing the right thing

[Seven Questions I Hope My Friends Would Respond To]
1. How's my personality?
2. What do you like about me?
3. What do you dislike about me?
4. What do you remember/treasure most about me?
5. Do I portray myself as a kiasu/arrogant person?
6. Have I been as good to you guys as you've been to me?
7. How often do you read my blog?

(Sorry KP.. I plagiarised some of your answers :P)

[Seven Things (or People) I Would Love to See]
1. Sandy :)
2. Gerard Butler.. hehe.
3. My Aussie cousins.. haven't seem them in ages!
4. Good results this time 'round! :)
5. I-Chen.. that's a priority!
6. Vern and Li Chin... they've both grown up so much!
7. World peace.. indeed! :)

[Seven People I Wanna Tag]
1. Yin
2. Subu
3. Sharmin/Vinder lol
4. Ee May!
5. Allan
6. Ah Beh :)
7. Anyone else reading this!

Hm..

I wish people could argue rationally and logically. To sit down and hash out a problem - isn't that so much better than yelling and screaming? I mean, what does the latter accomplish? Nothing but animosity, no?

If only everyone could evaluate their feelings before actually acting on them, then maybe there wouldn't be so many broken lives, families and people.

Just a thought for today.

Ciao bellas! xxx

Ethan My Man! :)

I stole this from Jono's blog again, but I just couldn't resist! :)

He is absolutely the cutest, naughtiest, mischievous-est, most lovable little boy you'll ever meet - even if he has a stubborn streak a mile wide!

I love my Ethan man, I do!

You Are My Miracle

I'm going to meet Jenna and Dav for breakfast in a bit.. but before that I just wanna post up the lyrics to this song by Vittorio Grigolo (and Nicole Scherzinger for the English version). I loved it! And the Italian version is sooo much nicer than the English, but oh well :)

Tutte le cose che non sai io te le insegnero
Le stelle che tu conterai te le regalero
Sapro inventare favole che ti raccontero
Cosi che I sogni volino piu a nord

So many things I've never known that I will learn from you
Finding reason in your words that are tried and true
E provero a sorprenderti con un sorriso in piu
Cosi che possa perderti anche tu

You are my miracle
You are soft and pure just like the air I breathe
You, heart of my heart
There's a secret that you hold - that you hold
Deep within that so discreetly hides your soul

The strength I simply never found, I will find in you
What I believe our future holds, I will see it through
Con te vivro ogni attimo che mi regalerai
Come se fosse l'ultimo per noi

You are my miracle
Acqua chiara e fresca che fa vivere
You, heart or my heart
There's a secret that you hold - that you hold
And it's hidden so discreetly
E mi guidera
Verso il centro dell'amore

Love, heart of my heart
There's a secret that you hold - that you hold
Che nasconde dolcemente
Will you share the secret with me
Ever more

You're Not Gonna Believe This... :)

Hi guys!

I am back in KL!

Well.. Klang, to be more precise.

Now, before you all go, "HUH?!", let me explain...

Through a series of miscommunications and "I don't know, go ask them when you register"s, I finally figured out that it would be far more practical for me to repeat STPM than to do the foundation course.

Here's why...

1. When I asked the people manning the office if it were possible to only take certain pertinent subjects, the answer was, "I'm not sure, ask the admissions people when you register". [Point of info: It costs almost RM20000 for a full year in foundation (STPM costs RM195 to register for). ]
2. So, showed up at the uni, was rushed into registration by some pretty flustered personnel. (Which was pretty stupid, considering the fact that I needed to have my questions answered BEFORE I registered.) But anyway.. Turns out there are no exemptions in subjects in the foundation course. I'd HAVE to take Physics, a subject I have not touched or thought about in more than 2 years.
3. Now, if you were me, would you rather go through something that's already familiar, or waste precious brushing-up time trying to re-learn something that you've completely thrown out of your mind?
4. PLUS, if, something should happen again (like the migraine attack last year), I'd have to re-do the foundation programme because of the fact that the qualifications is useless for anywhere other than the uni (another RM20000), as opposed to spending another RM195 if such a thing should happen again while re-sitting STPM.

So, finally concluded (after consulting with dad and my uncle Berty) that the best thing to do was just to come back and retake the exam. I mean, what do I have to lose? Maybe another year?

I know this whole thing sounds like a regular fiasco, but I can honestly say that had my questions been answered in due time, I wouldn't have made the decision to go. However, it was quite a good experience coz I got to see the campus - which is actually a really nice campus. Or it will be once it's fully up and running. I can safely say that I wouldn't mind doing my degree there at all.

Oh, and the best part - I got new clothes, new shoes and a new laptop out of this whole mess :) So I suppose it weren't all for nothing. Hehe..

So looks like I'll be seeing more of you guys than you thought! Poor souls... Heehee!

Well, toodles for now! Just thought I'd update y'all.

WooOOOOooHOOooooOO!! :D

MANCHESTER UNITED JUST TRASHED AS ROMA 7-1!!!! SEVEN - ONE!! TUJUH - SATU!! SEIS - UNO!! :D
(I dunno the Italian translation, but hey - you get the picture :P)

Awesome AWESOME display, well worth the crazy late night!!

Wooh!

*shrieks* GLORY GLORY MAN UTD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You should check out the goals - spectacular! :)

Those on the scoresheet:

Michael Carrick - 2
Alan Smith - 1
Wayne Rooney - 1
Cristiano Ronaldo - 2
Patrice Evra - 1

Methinks more than 90% of MU's squad are on the scoresheet now!

How absolutely awesome is THAT? :D

Food!! :D

Ah, tis the food we cooked last Saturday! (Stole it from Jono's blog.. lol. Didn't know he took a pic! :P) Everything's there 'cept the ice cream and the arrabbiatta. But oh well! The rest of it was magnifique! Haha.. as you can well see from the chicken bone on the plate. Heehee. In case you were wondering, though.. No, that ain't no dining table! :P

And I Am Telling You I'm Not Going

Totally love the movie version of this song.. Jennifer Hudson really did it justice! Made me want to cry, she did! Esp when you find out the reason Effie was "sick".. So so so sad!

And I am telling you
I'm not going
You're the best man I'll ever know
There's no way I can ever go
No, no, there's no way
No, no, no, no way I'm living without you
I'm not living without you
I dont wanna be free
I'm staying
I'm staying
And you, and you
You're gonna love me, oohh ooh mm mm
You're gonna love me

And I am telling you
I'm not going
Even though the rough times are showing
There's just no way, there's no way
We're part of the same place
We're part of the same time
We both share the same blood
We both have the same mind
And time and time, we've had so much to see and
No, no, no, no, no, no
I'm not waking up tomorrow morning
And finding that there's nobody there

Darling there's no way
No, no, no, no way Im living without you
I'm not living without you
You see there's just no way, there's no way

Tear down the mountains
Yell, scream, and shout like you can say what you want
I'm not walking out
Stop all the rivers, push, strike, and kill
I'm not gonna leave you
There's no way I will

And I am telling you
I'm not going
You're the best man I'll ever know
There's no way I can ever, ever go
No, no, no, no way
No, no, no, no way
I'm living without you
Oh, I'm not living without you, not living without you
I dont wanna be free
I'm staying, I'm staying
And you, and you, and you
You're gonna love me

You're gonna love me, yes you are
Ooh ooh love me, ooh ooh ooh love me
Love me, love me, love me, love me

You're gonna love me

Cookout!

From Left to Right: David, Ash, me, Jono and Ezra!

Today was fun. The best RSVP team on the planet finally got together for the first time since the 21st of March. God knows, I missed them! We had so much of fun, what with lunches and daily ogling sessions at Decanter, making silly jokes, discussing our various relationships (mainly Ezra's :P) or the lack, thereof.. It felt like we'd known each other for years, instead of just for 3 weeks.

Anyway, we finally had the cook-out we've been wanting to have for the past couple of weeks or so. God, we made so much of food for 5 people, it was unbelievable! Haha.. 2 types of spaghetti (arrabbiatta and my own "experiment" with dried prawn chilli paste), grilled chicken ala Ezra, fresh garden salad and ice cream with Hersheys chocolate sauce for dessert.

Woooh!

Talk about an endorphin-releasing meal :P Anyhow, it all turned out pretty darn well.. Although it's a shame.. I forgot to remind Jon to take pictures of the feast we whipped up. Sigh... Oh well. There'll be a next time!

It really was awesome to just lepak with the gang again. Hopefully we'll see more of 'em.

I think I really will invite myself over for tea at Ash's next week :)

Of Stress-related Silliness, and Cuteness

This is what folks do when they're stressed senseless :P

We went to see Mr. Bean's Holiday last Thursday. God, it felt good to laugh my head off after a month of little sleep and plenty of stress. I absolutely loved the opera scene. Rowan Atkinson at his best, methinks! :)

I started this one night when I absolutely could NOT sleep (methinks it was remnants from the "an hour of sleep is sufficient" days.. lol). Me and Jono finished this 1000 piece jigsaw in 13 hours. We is proud of us, we is! :D

This is Cutie #1 - Ryan. He's the eldest of 4, and a real smarty-pants. Gotta wear glasses though, poor kid.. This is what too much PS2 and computer games does to you.. :P

Brandon! Cutie #2! The Burposaurus! Haha.. That bit's my fault, actually. I told them a story about a kid who kept burping so much he turned into a Burposaurus at Christmas, and til now Brandon-da-man can't stop acting like one. Sigh.

Ooh! This is my little darling Ethan a.ka. Datuk a.k.a Cutie #3! Boy, does this kid have a mouth on him! He'll cheek you no end if you let him.. And more even if you don't! Haha.. He still loves messing up my hair. Naughty boy! He's got one thing in common with his brothers, though - they're all typical Fernandez men: totally NOT morning people! :D

This little rascal is Ashley (Cutie # 4). Or better known as Mak Cik (aunty). She is the master of staring down her nose at someone, and she's not even 3! But when she warms up to you, she's lots of fun to play with AND to talk to, coz you just never know what'll come out of her mouth next! :)

Ah yes. Mak Cik also likes looking at pictures of herself. Which is why there're more of her than of the 3 :)

And finally for the cutie of the week.. *drumroll* Cosmos the Chihuahua (I think my aunt has a sense of humour when it comes to doggie names :P) He's also known as Cos, Cossy, and "thilly dog" :) He's a real scaredy cat (sorry, Cos, I meant dog..) but he's the cutest thing ever! And he loves cuddles and pets. I just love the little tongue sticking out like that.. makes him look even cuter! :)

The Past Month...

These pics kinda sum up what's been going on in my life for the past month or so..

At the Jetty.. We didn't spend as much time as we would've liked this year, but it was til worth every second spent there! One of the best places in the world to be, I guarantee!

Finished off our last CNY in Malacca with our once-annual trip to the Renaissance hotel. This is a bit of yee sang tossing - for good luck, apparently :) Don't believe all that, but I gotta admit, it's quite a fun dish, that - if a little sweet.

After CNY it was off to work for Aunty J and Uncle F. Wooh. And I thought that work would be easy.. From the above pic, I think you can see it wasn't! Hell, I'm working in Coffee Bean! How much more out of sync can life get? *shudders*

This pic was taken in Decanter.. a restaurant that's on the floor below where we work. If the office was our second home of sorts, Decanter was surely the third! And not just coz of the food either! ;) With waiters like Abu and Floppy, it was worth every extravagant cent.. Hehe *grins wickedly*

The culmination of our 3 weeks of late LATE nights and hard work.. See what we get as a reward? *sighs* Terry called it a "hideous curtain". I guess that says it all! (A low budget airline wouldn't hire us in this!!!)

Finally.. A night out with the Malaysian er.. branch?.. of the Insanely Saners :) I can't believe I hadn't seen them in 3 months! Haha.. Their reaction to my hair was - "OMG Elaine - your hair!" Ya ya.. I know it's gone all strange and blonde-y. Don't have to look so shocked though..

This is us in the Laundry Bar at the Curve, after pigging out in Italiannies, right next door! Hehe.. I was lucky this time 'round - got me a Long Island Tea for free! :) Was great just chilling with the girls. We definitely should do this more often - and next time we'll dance for more than 5 minutes, thanks! ;)

Okay, that's it for now.. I gotta get back to work :)

Love y'all!

Listen...

Listen,
I am alone at a crossroads
I'm not at home, in my own home
And I tried and tried
To say whats on my mind
You should have known
Oh,
Now I'm done believin you
You don't know what I'm feelin
I'm more than what, you made of me
I followed the voice
you gave to me
But now I gotta find, my own..

I Can't Make You Love Me

Turn down the lights, turn down the bed
Turn down these voices inside my head
Lay down with me, tell me no lies
Just hold me close, don't patronize - don't patronize me

'Cause I can't make you love me if you don't
You can't make your heart feel something it won't
Here in the dark, in these lonely hours
I will lay down my heart and I'll feel the power
But you won't, no you won't
'Cause I can't make you love me, if you don't

I'll close my eyes, then I won't see
The love you don't feel when you're holding me
Morning will come and I'll do what's right
Just give me till then to give up this fight
And I will give up this fight

'Cause I can't make you love me if you don't
You can't make your heart feel something it won't
Here in the dark, in these lonely hours
I will lay down my heart and I'll feel the power
But you won't, no you won't
'Cause I can't make you love me, if you don't

Waterworks! :)

I've been such a sad case lately.. Lol.

You know what my latest phase is? Don't laugh...

I cry every time I see old couples who're still in love *looks sheepish*

I mean, it's just so touching! All around us, we see marriages breaking up after a couple of years..

Then this little old man comes along who's still so in love with his little old lady that his face practically glows when he talks about her, and the adoring look on her face as she gazes up at him... And you think, "what do they have that's so special, it's lasted through all the trials that come with marriage??"

I don't know, to me it's just a testament to the power of love. It can be done, folks.

So why do I cry, if there's hope in the longevity of love?

Probably coz in the deepest corner of my heart I know that someday, when I'm old and ugl(ier) and have pure white hair (if I have any left, that is!), what I would really want is to have the man I love look at me as the darling old man who received an Oscar just now looked at his wife as he thanked her for loving him all these years, just as he loved her.

*sighs dreamily*

All righty folks, I'm gonna go throw away these tissues and then I'll lie down and imagine for a bit that that sorta love will someday be a part of my life forever!

American Idol's Back!!!

It's official, folks. The girls are better than the guys by a MILE. And I love Simon Cowell, I do! Nice voice, he's got. Lol...

Oh, but I am officially a Nick Pedro groupie :) Haha.. Any man with a smile like that, who sings "Now and Forever" (Richard Marx) in such a sweet, sincere tone TOTALLY gets my vote! Haha..

Nicholas Pedro.. Wouldn't say he's my choice for American Idol, but whaddaheck! He's one darned adorable dude! :D I love that dimple!!! Makes him look cuter than ever..! :)

Nick Pedro again....Pity they don't have a pic of him smiling *sniffles*

Here's another cutie - Chris Richardson :) Funny, he was in my dream last night.. Huh. I have the strangest dreams, I think! :P

Heehee.. Again!

Hey peeps...

Er... this is another quiz. Lol. I'm sorry! I'm just real bored, is all!

So do it if ya can okay?

Thanks guys.. y'all rock! :D

http://www.quizyourfriends.com/quizpage.php?quizname=070225022701-420596&

Quizzie!

Hey people.. Do this quiz for me if you have the time :) I'm seriously lacking in entertainment right now so.. yeah. Thanks a bunch!

http://www03.quizyourfriends.com/quizpage.php?quizname=070222070201-223512

The Final Trip

The last Chinese New Year in Malacca is over.

*sobs*

I can't believe it ended so quickly. We'd been looking forward to it for ages, and now it's gone in not much more than a blink. There'll be no more after this. I don't think it has sunk in yet, but the next time we go to Malacca, we'll be nothing more than tourists. Gosh, that thought is so sad!!!!! :(

But we did have fun, this last year...

- Cleaning the house like crazy people... I don't think I've ever swept that much dust in my life! But oh well.. anything to make our favourite place in Malacca inhabitable!

- Baking 3 chocolate cakes all by ourselves! (Me, Yin and Ting :D) And it turned out almost as good as my mum's - which was an awesome achievement in itself :P We just need a little more practice to get it right. Whooppee!!

- Celebrated our birthdays (Steph, Sharm and me) with cheese cake [thank GOD it wasn't a jelly cake with a big pink angel on it like last year!] and a couple of drinks at the Portugese settlement nearby. There was an awesome DJ playing there, but no one was dancing! We wanted to, but we were only allowed one drink each, so it wasn't enough to lose THAT much of our inhibitions..! :P

- Had a whole lot of Math tuition classes this year, with Steph and I "donating" most of our um, numbers, to the others until we finished 'em all. Poor us. Taught Sheryll how to count, and ended up donating almost all our numbers to her! How sad is that??

- We had 2 rounds of satay celup this year!!! We figured that since we don't know when we'll be coming to Malacca again, we might as well pig out to the best of our abilities... and we did! I felt like a giant pot of peanut sauce after we finished!

- The trips to the jetty this year were sadly few... But we managed to catch the sunset on the last day there... and it was absolutely beautiful as usual. [Only thing missing for me was this really hot dude, whom I happen to be totally in love with :)]

- We missed the sunrise this year, though... We actually woke up in time for it the first time, but had to leave before it was even bright coz it rained and there was lightning, and we were smack in the middle of the open sea! The second time, none of us managed to wake up in time... Sigh. That was SUCH a waste.

- We also had one last Chinese New Year meal at the Renaissance hotel for old times' sake. It always used to be a tradition for us when my grandparents were alive, but we haven't had it in awhile, so my aunt and uncle from Singapore decided to give as one last treat there... [Thanks Aunty Maureen and Uncle Richard! It meant a lot... Especially since we know that it wasn't a cheap treat by any means!]

I'll miss Malacca. I'm more than sure of it... We had a lot of fun, as we always do, much more than just the stuff I've listed above...

I don't know what else to say, other than I am truly sorry that this part of our history will now be nothing more than a very treasured memory.

:'(

LDRs are so hard.

I don't regret one day of it, but it's times like this when I can't help but wish that the distance wasn't quite THAT great.

From the shop I work in, I can see couples everywhere, walking around hand in hand - today much more so than usual. That IS expected, of course, but it just serves to make me even more aware of the fact that the man I love is so far away, lately in almost all ways.

I wish I wasn't such a sentimental fool. Then maybe I wouldn't be in danger of bursting into tears right here in my workplace, as the sounds of my colleague laughing on the phone with her boyfriend just barely reach me from the back of the shop.

I miss him so much it hurts.

What If...

I was reading something Sandy wrote on his Faceparty profile.. And it really struck a chord. This bit really made me think:

"Imagine how you would feel if your doctor today diagnosed you with a terminal illness and gave you say, two months to live. Abandoning all pretences, all facades, all the acts that we have perfected in our time, how would you really evaluate your life? What would you hold to be the things that were really important to you?"

How many people actually think about stuff like that? It's not something most people want to think about, let alone discuss - heck, for some members of the Chinese community, it's considered taboo to even tell someone how you want your funeral run!

But why are we so afraid to break our lives down to size? Is it because at this point where none of us know when the end is, we're afraid that facing whatever short-comings we have will either force us to change, or make us feel exceedingly guilty if we don't?

Or is it because it's easier to live life clinging to the bliss of ignorance, not only about the world outside our little cocoon, but of ourselves too as people? There's always a possibility we may not like what we see....

I thought about that and I found that what I would regret the most is not having the relationship with God that I most certainly have the capacity for, because I once had it, but now am just too lazy and caught up in my own life sometimes to even think about it. I think it's time for me to do something about that.. 20 is a good time as any to start again.

If I could change one thing, it'd the fact that my quick temper and sometimes caustic tongue has hurt probably more people than I'll ever know. I hate to admit it, but I know that I can be really mean sometimes, and more often than not, the people I love most are on the receiving end of it, and it's not something I'm proud of at all.

But that said, what I hold to be important has never, and hopefully will never, change. My life more or less revolves 'round the people I love - I suppose, this blog is a pretty good testament to that.

And I treasure them more than anything else I've ever had or known, even if I sometimes have a lousy way of showing it. My hope would be that I could, at the very least, say that the people I love know that I do. And to me, that's what counts the most.

When I die, I want to leave behind good memories - those are the things I know I would treasure the most, were the roles reversed. If knowing I loved them could've made just one person happy, then I know my life's been worth something.

And I suppose at the end of the day, that's what all of us really want, isn't it?

Have You Ever Been In Love?

In the morning light
Half awake and half asleep
Have you ever laid there thinking
Was it all a dream?
But you reach out and she's there
Every moment, everywhere
Have you ever been in love?

Have you ever felt
How far a heart can fall
Have you ever stayed up waiting
For a telephone call
Just to hear her say hello
Cause you miss each other so
Have you ever been in love?

Have there been times to laugh
And times you really want to cry
Finding reasons to believe her
cause you'd die a little if she lied
And when in times of doubt
Have you ever tried to work it out
But still she leaves you wondering
What it's all about

And when she's far away
Have you ever felt the need to stray
And tried and then discovered
It just doesn't pay
Cause with her, you can be true
And with her, you can be you
Have you ever been in love?

Have there been times to laugh
And times you really want to cry
Finding reasons to believe her
Cause you'd die a little if she lied
And when in times of doubt
Have you ever tried to work it out
But still she leaves you wondering
What its all about

And when the night comes down
Can you call your house a home
Do you dream you're still together
And wake up alone
Have you ever been in love
The way that I'm in love
Have you ever been in love?
Have you ever been in love?

V-Day Cometh

Love is that condition in which
The happiness of another person
Is essential to your own.
~ by Robert A. Heinlein, Stranger in a Strange Land ~

I know loads of people don't subscribe to the idea of Valentine's Day, and I can't say that I blame them - prices are hiked up, it's almost impossible to find a nice restaurant that isn't already fully booked, and it's - to put it mildly - too much of a hassle.

But if the above quote is to be believed, then maybe all the hassle of Valentine's Day is worth it. If only to see the happiness in the eyes of the person you love. You don't really have to do much - just something thoughtful would cut it for most people..

And really, what better way to show you love someone than to do something memorable for them, for both of you? Something that you can look back on in the future and smile because it was THAT special.

If you don't want to buy into the commercialism of Valentine's Day, good for you. But if you haven't let the person you love know how much you love them lately, this'll be a good time to do it - especially if they're not expecting it!

Sometimes it doesn't take much more than a little time and ingenuity to make the person you love happier than they've ever been :)

The Last New Year..

Chinese New Year's coming up next week... I'm looking forward to it, but I feel real sad at the same time.

This'll be our last year in Malacca, since both our grandparents are gone... The aunties and uncles have decided that they'll sell the house this year, after 2 years of postponing it mainly due to a lot of pleading and whining on our part.

I can't imagine a CNY that's not in Malacca. We've been celebrating it there since I was born! That's 20 years of tradition, folks! Now I can understand a little of why older people have such a hard time adapting to change.. It isn't easy at all, having to get used to something new...

And none of us know what we'll do next year. There're are lots of suggestions about what to do and where to go, but I know one thing for sure - it won't ever be the same again!

Everyone goes back to Malacca - EVERYONE. But a lot of the time, it's coz it's like an obligation.. on the part of the older generation, at least. So if we go somewhere else, there's no guarantee that all of them will join us - in fact, I'm pretty sure some would end up making their own plans and skipping the family gathering, if not entirely, then just showing up for a day and that'd be it.

And crazy as it sounds, I'll miss the experience of having 20 people live in a tiny single storey house, with only one toilet and one bathroom. It's always crowded and noisy, with things all over the place, but it all feels.. right. And God knows, when you live in such close proximity to each other it's bound to make you closer. And it has! It really has.

I'll miss the short walks we used to take in the mornings and evenings to the jetty just behind our grandparents' house. And I'll definitely miss watching the sun come up over the calm sea, and setting with the in-coming tide. We had such fun on the jetty... It's a pity we only discovered it 3 years ago!

We probably will be going back to Malacca again, but not to the same house where years and years of memories linger. We won't be doing the same things, or feeling the same way. I can't help but think that it's such a pity....

With the end of the Chinese New Year celebrations, the last link to our roots will be gone.

Eye-opener

I started work at the Bridges EIP on Monday. It's a school of sorts for children with learning disabilites, specifically with autism, but most of them have much more complicated conditions than that.

I was scared as hell, because I knew it wasn't going to be easy. And for awhile I was afraid I couldn't handle it..

But you know what?

Sure, they have short attention spans. Sure, it takes ages to just get a response out of them. Sure, some have ADHD and require lots of supervision and stern "no!"s.

But when I looked at them, I didn't see all those short-comings, much as I worried that I would. All I could see were 5 little boys, whose innocence made them all that much more endearing. And every little accomplishment, no matter how small and seemingly insignificant, was a joy in itself.

I can't wait to continue.. Those kids give us so much more than we give them, if only we could see beyond the disabilities and into strong little characters who keep on trying, even when it's sometimes excrutiatingly difficult for them to do so.

Tis February..

So dear I love him that with him,
All deaths I could endure.
Without him, live no life.
~ William Shakespeare, Romeo and Juliet ~