Thursday, June 30, 2005

Stuff and Nonsense

I have Maths homework to do. Yup. More Maths. But I shall not even think about it til I get this done. (Do I have my priorities straight or what! :P)

Okay, I think I've been WAAAY too depressing lately. What to do. Boy problems. HAHA. Oh, the problems are all in my head. Do you know that it's actually nice to listen to depressing songs? Depressing songs are sooooo nice!!!! :D

Ahem. Okay. I shall stop being THAT much of a weirdo for now. School wise, everything's all peachy and strawberry-y and appley and nice. Well, save for said boy problem. Pah. Stupid idiot. I don't know if I mean me or the guy but yeah. Stupid idiot.

Oh I've mentioned that I'm editor for our NIE group, hey? And did I also mention that my group consists of 9 boys and 1 girl a.k.a me? Yeah. You can tell how they chose the editor. Smart asses. That aside, I have my work cut out for me. Thank GOD I have people I can rely on 100 % not to give me a headache. Enthusiasm vs skill. Argh. Why?!!

Uh oh. You know what's the problem with having someone on your mind? You want to write about them. Sigh. I HATE it when he smiles at me. It's so not good for the brain, heart, adrenaline excretion device* (lol! Biology student konon :P)... Sucks. Somebody help me!!!

Hey, actually, I wouldn't mind Deb's cute nephew coming to my rescue *grins* She says he's too old for me, though. But then again.. she doesn't know that with me, old is good :D Plus, he can't be THAT old. She's only in her 30's. So he must be max, mid-20's. HAHA. Okay, Elaine. Don't go gettin' no ideas now. You's stupid enough without makin' yerself stupider. *whacks self on head*

Okay. Topic diversion. Um. Another thing that totally sucks. You know how when you find out something that you'd rather not know? Yeah. There is something that I know now, which I should know, but I wish I didn't have to. It's just... sick. Will have to update ya, Ju. I'm just so geli-fied, it's not even funny!

I have talked too much. And as usual, it's whiney. Why does school always turn me into a whiney lout? Yeeha. Oh by the way, I have BSB's new album.. and I'm lovin' it, baby!!! Like it much much better than Black and Blue. BSB IS BACK!!!! Muahahahaha!

I'm outta here, people. The Maths book beckons! (Hopefully the next post will be a little less complainish and won't depress me even more :P)

*POI: I DO know it's the adrenal gland.. It was joke!! *laughs hysterically* Hmph.

Sunday, June 26, 2005

I Was Just Thinking....

There is a dead kitten in the garden. It's been there for a couple of days already, so the insects have been having a field day. It's a heart-wrenching sight, this tiny form - lifeless, being ravaged by beings 0.000001 times it's size... Brings a tear to the eye.

But I can't help but think that that little kitten has got the better end of the deal in life. It'll not have to know what it's like to be chased, frightened half to death by dogs and humans, drenched (or scalded) by humans with jars of water, what it means to have to forage daily for food, to go hungry for days on end... Yeah, that little critter's certainly got an advantage over all the others in the cat world.

And certainly over us humans. Death seems like a terrible tragedy sometimes (and sometimes, it is). But what is death, really, other than an end to suffering? An end to useless pursuits, none of which we can take with us to the next life.

My aunt said something the other day that rang awfully true. We spend all our lives slogging to get good results, degrees, good jobs... But at the end of the day, life has no guarantees. One can put in so much of work into something, only to have it come to nothing if his life is taken away the very next day.

I suppose she was feeling philosophical, as the daughter of her friend is dying of cancer. She doesn't have long... the cancer has spread everywhere, and there's nothing more to be done. However the really horrific part of this is that she's only 33, and has 2 daughters - one 5 and one 2. It's hard even to think about it. But the tragedy is not for the one dying, but for the ones left behind.

All this makes me wonder whether us humans take ourselves too seriously. We only have to work so hard to get a piece of paper because other humans have dictated it to be so. If only people could see the important things in life are not what you can get or take, but in the giving and receiving of experiences, thoughts and feelings between human beings.

Life isn't about things, it's about people. We spend so much time trying to bring ourselves up in the world, that relationships are all but forgotten. Your big house, car, swimming pool... These will not remember you once you're gone. They're not the ones who'll face years of sorrow for times not spent together.

If only we could change the materialistic mindset that has made this world, this life, so impersonal and meaningless. Maybe then we could meet our Creator without regret on both our part and on the part of those we have left behind.

Yes, that kitten has certainly got the better deal. It never has to see what the world truly is, and that is the best fortune that little thing could have.

Saturday, June 25, 2005

Sigh.

It seems weird.. My posts lately have all had negative vibes. Today is no different. This morning I just realized something that I probably would have been better off not knowing, or realizing or whatever. Who would have thought that I would fall into the same hole I swore I wouldn't?

I had to unearth a painful memory in the hopes of helping a friend. I hope it did, I really do. I had no idea how much thinking about it would affect me. The memory of it still tears at me, even 2 years after the fact. The hurt has faded, but I don't think it'll ever completely go away. I guess he meant too much to me for that.

My advice to all who have someone really special to you, whom you've yet to tell - please, PLEASE forgo pride and do it! The feeling of "too late" is probably the worst thing ever. It can break you. Believe me.

"I just want you to know that
I've been fighting to let you go
Some days I make it through
And then there's nights that never end
I wish that I could believe that
There's a day you'll come back to me
But still I have to say
I would do it all again
Just want you to know"
- BSB : Just Want You To Know

Yeah. That about sums up a lot of stuff.

(I can't stop thinking about someone, although he is SO different from me, it's not even funny. Sigh. I do know how to get myself into situations.)

Thursday, June 23, 2005

Numbers Numbers Numbers :(

A short post today.. Don't have much time. Hm. I still like Maths. It's just that an over-load of numbers and figures over the past two or three days has made my head spin. Too much of Maths. Waaaay too much. On top of the fact that I'm trying to get my Physics book to make an iota of sense. Ain't easy. Phew.

What's hilarious is, I left the Bio-Chem class to go to the pure science one. And people are leaving my class to go to Bio-Chem. In other words, they're dropping Physics. Which, I, in all my masochistic brilliance, left the "easy" class to take up! Woohoo. Someone congratulate me (or knock my head, whichever you prefer).

I'm actually enjoying school, surprisingly. Haven't had the urge to skip just yet :D Which is kinda unusual for me. Hehe. But then again, my sense of self-preservation must be kicking in. One day of missed school could mean MORE unexplainable, un-doable Physics work to slog through. So... yeah. Besides, I do a lot of my homework in school. It's actually easier to do homework in school. The bed at home's a little too tempting for comfort.

I don't think I've ever been this hardworking in my entire life! I've been doing nothing but opening school books. I think I only read a few pages of one of my many new story books last night, then fell asleep. That was about... 11 something. Which is LATE, as far as my present bedtimes go. I now go to sleep as early as 10 p.m. Record time? You betcha! No more late nights for me.. I already fall asleep in class more than I should, as it is!

Gosh, I've only been writing about school lately hey? Man. Shows how much of a life I've got! :P Ju! From one "no life" to another "no life". Sniffles. Oh, and I'm the editor for our NIE group. Yippee.

Sigh. Back to work. I still have a ton more Math problems to figure out.

HHHHHEEEELLLLPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sunday, June 19, 2005

Couple o' Lines..

I'm tired. I get panic attacks. I miss a whole bunch of people a whole lot. I'm hot and sticky and sweaty. Sigh. And I complain a whole lot too. Whoopee. Nothing much to say, just that I feel like writing. No time for anyone - it's a lucky thing I got to see Ju today. I barely even have time for myself!

Good thing we're moving ASAP. At least once everything's settled, I can get into a proper routine and not feel so damned tired all the time. And I'm sleeping a heck of a lot earlier (Greg'd be proud of me :P). But I get up waaay earlier too. So it kinda cancels itself out. Haha.

I've only watched 1 1/2 episodes of Jewel in the Palace and MI this week. Talk about record breaking! That's probably the least TV I've ever watched - excluding in Australia, but that can't be counted since there wasn't a TV to watch in the first place. And I'm hardly online! I only sneak time in between. It's a good thing I can crap fast. Coz otherwise my blog'd be pretty neglected too.

S'funny. I still enjoy school, for all my complaining of tiredness. It's just the moving that gets to me. My poor mum. I don't even want to think of what it's like for her :(

Bright side - once all is done, it'll be a BIG relief and a lot easier to cope with all the work. I'll just look forward to that, so the faster I finish packing and moving, the earlier I get to relax a little. So um. I should go finish packing now.

Buhbye.

Saturday, June 18, 2005

One Week Gone.. Dang!

Wow. One week of school is over. So fast!!! This is scary, I tell ya. Coz the faster time goes by, the less time I have to finish the lot I have to study. And it's not a little lot. It's a lot lot. Argh!

This week has been rather - interesting. Mainly coz I've been, to quote my aunt, a "nomad", moving from this house to that house... Plus, they didn't have a place in the Pure Science class, initially, so I had to go to the Bio-Chem class. And miss out on 2 lessons of Physics. Which, btw, isn't a good idea, coz the teacher we have is just, flying through the chapters! (Which basically means, I'm now in the Pure Science class la. Yay. More work.)

The lessons have been okay, though all the teachers are breaking speed limits, trying to finish the syllabus. Poor souls. They have their jobs cut out for them. And for the first time, I'm actually finishing ALL my homework!! Haha! :D Okay, so it's partly coz I don't have people like Ju to yak and yak and yak with the whole day long (meaning our lessons don't get paid any attention.. :P). And partly coz 99.9% of my class speak Chinese 95% of the time. Woohoo. So yeah. Plenty of time to get my work done.

But I must say I kinda like my class. Most of them are real friendly, and they make the effort to translate stuff for me and the only other non-Chinese in my class. But then again, 5 out of 6 lessons are in English, so I'm not suffering too much :D Made some new friends too - not surprising though, that they're all from diff schools, and not ex-CHS students. And they're all girls. HAHA. I'm sitting at a table full of boys though so... Makes a BIG change from seeing only girls for 5 years in MGS :P

Okay. Sigh. I've got work to do so I'll try update the ASAP. Which may not be as soon as I like. Yeehaw. Buhbye people!

Saturday, June 11, 2005

Cleeeaninnnggg...

I am so tired right now. That's probably what comes of being a lazy bum for 6 months then having to clean up a newly renovated house. Ugh. Dusty. Filthy. Esp the bathrooms. Esp MY bathroom. Which, being my bathroom and all, I had to clean. Ugh.

Wouldn't have been quite so bad if my knee wasn't still swollen from that hang gliding fiasco. I couldn't kneel (which would've absolutely killed me), so I had to squat. And let me tell you, squatting for hours is NOT a good pastime. Not if you value your calves and ankles, anyway.

But the killer was... THE HEAT! Oh boy oh boy oh boy. No fans. No air cons. And blazing hot sun. ARRRGHH!! First chance we got, mum and I went off to A&W and grabbed a couple of root beer floats. Oooh. Aussie has spoilt us. Bad Aussie.

I like my room though. I've got a VERY nice room. Best room in the house. Brightest one, too. Coz I'm the only one with a room that has COLOUR. Haha. Nice colours. Nice room. Okay. I'll shut up.

Anyway. Mum's chasing me off, so I'd better get my arse off this comp before she kills me. Goodbye, everyone. School starts in 2 days. Whoopee.

Friday, June 10, 2005

Update..?

So I'm back in hot ol' Klang. And I do mean HOT! The minute I stepped out of the airport, it was like slamming into a wall of heat and humidity. Ugh. I've now got an itchy throat. Can we transfer Aussie weather here. Please?

Anyway, I had a great time there and since I'm too lazy to go on prattling about what I did/saw there (I don't think anyone really reads all of it anyway), I'll make another list. Of whatever I feel like listing. Deal? Goot.

1. Vacuum cleaners are not as uncomplicated as I once thought.
2. I think I prefer the regular, old-fashioned way of sweeping and mopping. Lugging around a VC ain't no fun, people.
3. Sydney is almost a carbon copy of KL. Minus the haze. And add a few more whites. Key words - A Few.
4. Malaysia has the best Asian food. Period.
5. 18 days without TV is a looong time. Esp when I had to miss the last few episodes of LAX. *sobs* Bye bye Paul Leyden! *waves mournfully*
6. I wish my Aussie cuzzies lived here. Or we lived there. Well. We ALL lived there. Lim cuzzies and Fernandez cuzzies. Coz Aussie air is better. And Aussie has Paul Leyden.
7. I actually prefered Economy class to Business class. So sue me. Economy was a bit too... open for me.
8. Mr. Dreamy Eyes' name was Andy. (And to think I only found that out on the last day. Sniffles! Haha.)
9. I have damn good parents. Reasonable - most of the time, anyway.
10. It's gonna be so weird to leave Klang.
11. Oh no! I gotta start studying!
12. Help!
13. No more guy watching for me *sobs* :(
14. I'd say guys who hug other guys were comfortable with themselves. Not necessarily gay.
15. I think it's healthy for everyone to hug everyone else. In the platonic sense, of course.
16. I just got to know an 18 year old seminarian. 18. Unless there's something wrong with my math, that makes him my age. Yikes. I think I should start praying more.
17. David hasn't changed. Sniffles.
18. Funny how 16 year old guys look a heck of a lot more mature when you're 12.
19. People in Malaysia should smile more.
20. Aussies smile/greet everyone. I better remember to not to say "hey how are ya" next time I walk into a shop. I'll be getting a lot of "do I know you" looks from people. And they say Malaysians are friendly.
21. I need to wean myself off the comp. Coz I'm gonna have to study. Sigh.

22. Gonna see Oliver on Saturday. YAY! My first real life musical! :D (Stars of the Musicals doesn't quite count.)
23. I miss Aussie. More to the point, I guess I miss my cousins. And Duane, if you read this, I feel like your baby sister already! *winks*

Okay. I'm done. Nuff lists for now. Yeeha. Pictures coming up. When I can figure out to resize them. They're HUGE.

PS: I know some non-bloggers read this, so if you guys wanna leave comments, feel free. Just use the other or anonymous option ;)

Tuesday, June 07, 2005

Short

I've just spent 5 days with family from my dad's side - 2 days in Melbourne and the weekend in Sydney. I had an amazing time - not so much seeing the sights as being able to spend time with them. I hardly ever get to see my cousins (give or take 4 times in the past 18 years), so it was great getting to talk to them and all.

I'll probably write more when I get back to Malaysia. I don't get much time on the comp to actually think of what to say and stuff, so yeah. I'll just summarize things when I get back. Ju, not that many more guy updates. My crushless stance continues *winks* I don't know, Ju. Personal record, maybe? Haha.

Anyway, I don't who actually reads this but to Duane, Diane, David, Kathy, Cheryl, Dane - it was awesome meeting you guys. Thanks for taking time to spend with mum and I. (Cousins : thanks to your parents as well for taking us around.)

Jono : welcome to blogger madness, cousin dear! :D

I don't wanna go back. Going back means starting work. Uh oh. HELLLLLP!

Wednesday, June 01, 2005

Mornington

Spent another day on the road - this time, to the Mornington Peninsula. This time round I didn't exactly SLEEP on the journey.. I, er... kinda dozed off. For a few minutes only!!!! *grins sheepishly*

I was supposed to go horse-riding (they take you out to the bush on 1 hour, 2 hours or more), but when we got there, the first group was already about to leave. The guy told us to come back at 1 p.m. for the next 2 hour group. I chose not to, though. It was so COLD! I didn't want my butt freezing to the horse.

So we went to Point Nepean. I LOVED IT THERE. They had all the forts and stuff from the 1800s, all used during World Wars 1 and 2... And the places were preserved exactly as they were before! Now, anyone who knows me knows that I'm a sucker for history. I think I could've spent all day just walking around and soaking in the atmosphere. They had some unaccessible places, like the soldiers' barracks and stuff... But oooh. Jen and Ju and all you other history buffs, I wish you'd been there with me! We coulda had so much fun imagining what it was like when there were soldiers walking around. Sigh.

I had a hang gliding accident today. Yep, you read right. Hang gliding. 'Cept that it wasn't me on the hang glider. Haha. We saw this guy fixing up a hang glider, so being the busybodies that we are, stood and watched him setting up. Then he asks us to help him carry the hang glider up to the take off place. So we did. Then he tries to take off, but instead of going of the cliff, the glider turns round... and heads directly towards me and my aunt! Haha! Man, the look on his face when that happened... and the way it barrelled into us, I'm surprised my aunt and I weren't knocked of the cliff and didn't suffer much more than a sore butt (her) and a scraped knee (me). Poor guy. He was SO worried.

Anyway, I don't have much more to say todya. I'll type more when I don't have time restrictions. Sigh.

Bye y'all. 7 days to go! :(