Almost Here

Did I hear you right
'cause I thought you said
Let's think it over
You have been my life
And I never planned
Growing old without you

Shadows bleeding through the light
Where the love once shined so bright
Came without a reason
Don't let go on us tonight
Love's not always black and white
Haven't I always loved you?

But when I need you
You're almost here
And I know that's not enough
And when I'm with you
I'm close to tears
'cause your only almost here

I would change the world
If I had a chance
Oh won't you let me
Treat me like a child
Throw your arms around me
Oh please protect me

Bruised and battered by your words
Dazed and shattered now it hurts
Haven't I always loved you

But when I need you
You're almost here
And I know that's not enough
And when I'm with you
I'm close to tears
'cause your only almost here

Bruised and battered by your words
Dazed and shattered now it hurts
Haven't I always loved you

But when I need you
You're almost here
Well I never knew how far behind I'd left you
And when I hold you your almost here
Well I'm sorry that I took our love for granted
And now I'm with you I'm close to tears
'cause I know I'm almost here
Only almost here

Boredom Central

You Are a Brownie

Decadent and intense, you aren't for the weakhearted. Those who can deal with your strong flavor find out how sweet you really are.

What Dessert Are You Most Like?

You Are a Centaur

In general, you are a very cautious and reserved person. However, you are also warm hearted, and you enjoy helping others in practical ways. You are a great teacher, and you are really good at helping people get their lives in order. You are very intuitive, and you go with your gut. You make good decisions easily.

What Mythological Creature Are You?

You are a Brainy Girl!

Whether you're an official student or a casual learner, you enjoy hitting the books. You know a little bit about everything, and you're always dying to know more. For a guy to win your heart, he's got to share some of your intellectual interests. A awesome book collection of his own doesn't hurt either!

What Kind of Girl Are You?

Anyway

You can spend your whole life building
Something from nothin'
One storm can come and blow it all away
Build it anyway

You can chase a dream
That seems so out of reach
And you know it might never come your way
Dream it anyway

God is great
But sometimes life ain't good
And when I pray
It doesn't always turn out like I think it should
But I do it anyway
I do it anyway

This world's gone crazy
It's hard to believe
That tomorrow will be better than today
Believe it anyway

You can love someone with all your heart
For all the right reasons
In a moment they can choose to walk away
Love 'em anyway

God is great
But sometimes life ain't good
And when I pray
It doesn't always turn out like I think it should
But I do it anyway
I do it anyway

You can pour your soul out singing
A song you believe in
That tomorrow they'll forget you ever sang
Sing it anyway
Yea - sing it anyway

I sing
I dream
I love
Anyway

~Martina McBride~

Hehehe - EMO!

"And all I ever wanted was for you to know
Everything I do I give my heart and soul"

Langkawi Trip!

Langkawi was simply put, blissful. I haven't been so relaxed in a loooong time. It was lovely just to sit on the beach, in the blazing sun and cool breeze, sipping beers and reading novels with the help of my brand new sunglasses (would've been too bright otherwise!!!).

Here are some pics of what we did (which wasn't much, all things considered..lol).

On board the plane to Langkawi... And amusingly enough, those girls in the background were totally checking David out the whole time!! *roflmao*

Where we ate, slept, drank and generally made such a mess that I pitied housekeeping. Truly, I did.
Our first day at the beach.. Berjaya's private beach front. Lots of Caucasians. It was like stepping into an alternate reality! I felt like I was in Europe or something.

Day 3 - In Kuah, where both Dave and I got brand new sunnies. Hurrah!

I don't know what this is, but is sure is beautiful. And awesomely scary, too.. Anyone got a clue?

That tiny speck floating under the parachute is my darling brother, David. Apparently he spent the time cursing birds and trying to yell at the boat driver(?) to go faster. Tell me, does anyone honestly think he could be heard?!

Jetski-ing has probably got to be one of the funnest sports invented. Really.

This is us, at 4 a.m. dancing on the beach and having what looks to be like an out of body experience!
Stopped by at the science centre where they proceeded to chop my head off and serve it with, off all things, brinjals. This is Goga.. A Georgian photojournalist we met at the beach.. Nice guy. Very friendly.
This is us.. all happy-happy from a bit of wine and coke - no, not mixed.
The Reggae Bar - great music, and cheap drinks. Can it get any better?

With our Georgian pal, Goga... Aunty Wee actually asked if he was a guy or a girl!! Poor Goga. Lol.
This is us on the last day at Cenang Beach, after our very relaxing massage at the Thai Spa. Lazing around is just.. wonderful.

And this is us, all happy to be together... You can bet we're gonna be doing this again soon!!!!

ChocoCake!! :)

I made a chocolate cake today. All by myself.

And guess what?

It's brilliant! As good as my mother's, which is possibly the highest compliment ever when it comes to chocolate cakes.

I'm so happy!!! I was worried for a bit that it wouldn't turn out properly because I was a little distracted, but it did and I'm so proud of myself :)

Hehehe.

Okay folks, it's off to Langkawi in a few... Will be back with pictures and whatnots!

Hardly A Revelation, But...

Sometimes I don't know whether to laugh, or just give in and cry. But I've cried too much already, wasting precious tears on something that probably was only special in my own mind. I'm trying to convince myself that David was right in his assessment of the situation, but maybe it's all still too fresh in my head (in spite of almost a year of trying to get used to it) for me to accept as reality.

But frankly, it IS quite amusing. I'm replaying reactions in my head, and it's not hard to see that faced with negative emotions, some people just don't know how to handle it. Now I'm not saying I can, but at least I'm honest enough with myself to face them, painful or not.

Over the last year I've faced some really painful truths about myself, and the kind of person I am - how truly insecure I really am. I also learnt that I cannot keep relying on someone else to provide me with self-worth. I cannot conjure up dream-like scenes in my head and expect them to come true.

But most of all I learnt that I cannot rely on words. People can say anything, but it doesn't mean they'll follow through on them. And this was, by far, the most painful lesson of all to learn.

I'd like to think I'm older and wiser now, but somehow I'm not sure if that idealistic streak in me has been completely eradicated. However, I know better than to fully believe the words of any man now, no matter how sweet or sincere they seem.

What brought this on? Haha.. let's just say I tested out a theory, and I was proven right. Thank god I had the self control not to send a warning email! Something I should have had a long time ago, but at least I'm learning now...

I'd be damned stupid not to!

AR

Everytime I want to write something, I get distracted by something else. Incredibly frustrating.

At this point in time, I want to gripe about movie critics and how they should just lighten up, but my whole griping mood's been spoiled by a more pressing gripe, which I shall not bother your delicate sensibilities with.

I seem to like that phrase a lot, of late - "delicate sensibilities". Or maybe I'm reading too many novels set in 19th century England.

Sigh.

Oh yes, a bit of news for those whom I've not yet gloated to - I'm starting a degree course in Psychology in Help Uni College in the 22nd of August. Am I excited? You betcha! After 7 months of crying and screaming and cajoling and crying and screaming and .. you get the picture .. I believe I should be ecstatic!

Although... I know this course is gonna be tough. I probably will be kicking myself for putting myself through it at some point, but I suppose the goal is worth the effort, no?

And yes.. I think (some) movie critics should lighten up. Why trash something that is entertaining enough? People don't go to movies to be intellectually stimulated. We go there to lose ourselves in an alternate reality, and if it is sufficiently well created, leave it be!

There are some movies that deserve to be chopped up and swallowed, I agree, but sometimes I get the impression that some of them just write reviews a certain way to sound.... smart? Okay, so I'm being a tad judgmental, but honestly - do you have to compare every movie with one from the, O Great Watcher of Movies, extensive movie database in your head?

Yipes! Looks like I got the gripe out.. In the cattiest manner possible. Well, by my standards, at any rate!

Where have all the cowboys gone. I love that line.