Here I Am ~ Leona Lewis

This is a crazy world
These can be lonely times
It's hard to know who's on your side
Most of the time

Who can you really trust
Who do you really know
Is there anybody out there
Who can make you feel less alone
Sometimes you just can't make it on your own

If you need a place where you can run
If you need a shoulder to cry on
Well I'll always be your friend

When you need some shelter from the rain
When you need a healer for your pain
I will be there time and time again
When you need someone to love you
Here I am, hmmm

If you have broken dreams
Just lay them all on me
I'll be the one who understands
So take my hand

If there is emptiness
You know I'll do my best
To fill you up with all the love
That I can show someone
I promise you you'll never walk alone

Well if you need a place where you can run
If you need a shoulder to cry on
Well I'll always be your friend

When you need a shelter from the rain
When you need a healer for your pain
I will be there time and time again
When you need someone to love you
Here I am

Everybody needs somebody who
They can pour their heart and soul into

If you need a place where you can run
If you need a shoulder to cry on
I'll always be your friend

When you need a shelter from the rain
When you need a healer for the pain
I will be there time and time again
When you need someone to love you
Here I am, Here I am

Of Lousy Thinkers and Mental Filters

I amaze myself sometimes. And not always in a good way. I never actually stop to think about a lot of what I do and say - some of which could potentially come back to bite me on my well-padded rear... That being said, I tend to make lousy decisions when I think too much, too.

So what is a girl to do? Be grateful for the fact that in big decisions, at least, I'm capable of making sound ones. It's the little things, the every day stuff that I completely suck at. You wouldn't know it to see me, but oh the evidence is there, all right!

.. Hm. It does rather seem that all I ever do is complain about myself, doesn't it? Well, I'm not entirely as bad as I make myself out to be. However, I do wish I had some sort of mental filter. To help me differentiate between the proper response (that won't get me an undesirable outcome) and the out-of-whack one (which leaves me absolutely no room for edging out of trouble). Sigh.

I made a boo boo on Tuesday. Unfortunately, it is one I won't be able to fix. All I can do is cross my fingers and hope it all turns out for the best. Woohoo.

Ketawa! KETAWA!!!! Hehehehehe.

Laughter is highly underrated. I've long discovered how laughing at even the most ridiculous things can turn my whole day around.

Sometimes it doesn't hurt to look silly - puts things in perspective when we can see just how pointless it is to take ourselves so seriously all the time :o)

PS: Am I allowed to be in love with Eddie Izzard? :D

Randomness At (Almost!) Dawn

It feels so good to be able to be awake at 4.47 a.m. and not have to worry about waking up an hour or so later to go to work *sighs happily* It's been a long time since I've been able to enjoy the silence and peace of this hour of the night... I've rather missed it, come to think of it.

The internship I did was really an experience to remember. Teaching and working with children is not the easiest thing to do, but I have got to say: I enjoyed every second! They were some of the most lovable kids I have ever met and I'm so proud to have come to know them.

I really am going to miss seeing those kids everyday. I'm going to miss their whining, complaining, fighting, crying .. everything! But most of all I'm going to miss their smiles, the way they'd talk to me about their lives, their fledgling relationships (so cute!!), the way the youngest boy always left what he was doing and ran to me when I arrived there each morning... God, I really will miss them!

There was so much untapped potential there - bright, eager boys who really just need the right opportunities, the right guidance. But that isn't easy to come by, unfortunately.. And their lives lack the continuity and stability children need in order to be able to grow and become all that they can be. This feeling of helplessness is really quite annoying .. there are times when I wish I wasn't a mere 1st going on 2nd year student. At this stage, pretty much all I can give them is time, patience and all the love that is in my heart to give.

If only that were enough.

Updates! :)

It just occurred to me as I was having my hair cut for the bazillionth time in my life that the hairdresser more or less commands our absolute trust. After all, they have the ability to make you look like a god(dess) or like something the dog dragged out of the drain. Frightening thought, actually. And I should know, having had my fair share of scrapes with hair massacre-rers. Thank goodness this time 'round my hair actually looks normal. I'm having a round of good luck this year with the species, and I'm infinitely grateful for that! :)

(And am I sounding more bimbotic by the second, or what? Haha!)

On a slightly more amusing note, it seems that the whole Anwar issue is so pervasive in Malaysian society that even the hairdresser aunty and her cronies are discussing it, albeit in Hokkien. Not that I understand much. But I did catch "BN hancur" in the conversation somewhere... Would've eavesdropped more, but it's a little bit pointless when you don't know the language from Swahili.

And finally, after 2 very long months, the 30 Hour Famine has come and gone - and been a huge success, if we do say so ourselves :) Everything went along well, with minor hiccups (to be expected with a crowd of over 500 people surviving only on mineral water) and there were some very good lessons to be learnt from it..

..Not least of which was that I now have infinite respect and admiration for all those people surviving famine, war and natural disasters. We had the luxury of looking forward to the glut of food available to us after the 30 hours, these people don't know if they'll even see their next meal. So while I'm quite pleased to find I can actually go that long without food, it's somewhat sobering to realize that what I have accomplished is nothing compared to what millions would consider a day in the life.

I'm just glad that the money we raised will be put to good use in lightening the load they have to carry everyday. If I'm proud of anything, it is that so many of us were willing to chip in and extend a hand to all those who do not have the luxuries we take for granted everyday. There's hope for humanity yet! :)

The requisite cam-whoring picture - taken sometime between registration and the opening ceremony.. Possibly even during! :)

The 500 ++ campers - can't help but feel very happy to be part of this crowd! They showed amazing spirit throughout the whole thing, and without their enthusiasm and active participation, I doubt it would've been the success that it was, so - a HUGE thank you to everyone who helped make HELP's 30 Hour Famine camp an experience to remember! :)

Just A Random Musing...

Just a thought after watching last night's top headline...

Would someone who can lie at such a potentially catastrophic level really fear God so much that he would be compelled to tell the truth just because he was swearing on a holy book?

Honestly, people, if someone's prepared to lie on such a grand scale, do you really think they would stop on account of swearing on a holy book?

Someone like that has already disregarded the laws of the God he professes to worship, in which case, his swearing on a holy book would be absolutely no grounds for determining his honesty.

If I'd already broken so many laws of my religion, really - what's one more?

Something to chew on as this saga continues...

Malacca Road Trip a.k.a the Food Binge :)

A picture chronology of how our first ever road trip together went - Malacca, 4th and 5th August, 2008 :)

The backpacker's we stayed at.. Had the wackiest owners, but they were a lot of fun :)

First stop: Jonker's for Chicken Rice Balls and Shopping!!! :)

The yummy, delicious, scrumptious, yummy chicken rice balls!! :)

And then on to terrorize shop keepers with, "No discount ah? Caaan la, aunty!!" :P

The colourful selection of mid-shopping fruit drinks we had a the Limau-Limau cafe..

Doing our bitchy model pose - the first time we ever got it right! :)

Of course, we had to make a stop at our favourite place in the world - the Jetty! :)

We look so happy.. Irony is that Vin was standing behind the camera going, "Laugh, people, LAUGH!" :P

SATAY CELUP!!!!!!!!!! No words. Absolutely no words. Aaahhhhhh... My mouth waters just thinking about it...

And no outing's complete without a little beer and fries.. At Geographers with Go Go Willie attempting to entertain in the background. Didn't quite succeed, poor thing.

Jonker on a week night... Spooky eh?

Day two - and we went in search of the best chi kueh ever made.. and found it too! :)

Had to make do with char koay teow as the char tao kueh man wasn't there :( Oh well.. better luck next time (Re: September!!! :P)

After breakfast, we went to Tengkera to seek out - lunch! Which was this gorgeous mee siam which tastes even better than it looks... we had nasi lemak and mee curry, too, but I don't have the pics of those yet..

... Oh, and let's not forget the pai tee! Which is only THE best I've ever tasted.. :) And this is one of the few times even I don't have to exaggerate :P

All in all.. it was a wonderful trip. It had all the elements of what makes a holiday fun - sun, sea, great food, awesome company, and lots and lots of laughter :) Here's to many more road trips - may they all be as fun as, if not more, than our first ever trip (alone!) to Malacca! :)

Words of Wisdom.. :)

These five quotes stood out for me today.. Just when I needed a morale boost :)

* If you want to be successful, it's just this simple: Know what you're doing. Love what you're doing. And believe in what you're doing.
- Will Rogers

* The people that get on in this world are the people that get up and look for the circumstances that they want; and if they can't find them, they make them.
- George Bernard Shaw

* The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.
- Eleanor Roosevelt

* The best way to predict the future is to create it!
- Jason Kaufmann

* The first step toward success is taken when you refuse to be a captive of the environment in which you first find yourself.
- Mark Caine

Muddled

Once again I have reached a stage in my life where I'm wondering whether I really have it as together as I actually wanted it to be at this stage of my life.. Academically, I seem to be doing fine on the surface but underneath it all is an uncertainty as to whether or not I'm actually prepared for what the working world will throw at me.

And in a profession whereby every decision I make could potentially impact another person's life, I HAVE to be accurate. There really is no room for error. I guess it's a good thing I'm realizing it while I still have time to do something about it... But at the same time, I'm also afraid that I'll never be good enough.

Sometimes I envy those people who are so sure of themselves and what they're doing. Certainty is something I'd do anything to have. But no matter how much I read, how much I think about something, I'm never certain because I'm so aware of the possibility that something could be wrong, no matter how small that possibility is.

It's probably why I'm always saying "I think" and "I guess" and "probably"... I'm very wary of saying something that people may interpret to be a finality because I know very well that it never is. At least, when I'm saying it. Although I suppose one could argue that that knowledge is a finality in and of itself...

Argh! Is there any wonder why I confuse myself all the damn time? *sigh* Oh well...

Interesting observation of the day: Caucs who live in Malaysia for a long time/grew up here have the STRANGEST accent. I really don't know how to describe it but, yea... It's strange :P

Will do a small Malacca update when I'm feeling less out of sorts. With a few pictures. Hehe... The BBC strikes again, baby! ;)