Muddled

Once again I have reached a stage in my life where I'm wondering whether I really have it as together as I actually wanted it to be at this stage of my life.. Academically, I seem to be doing fine on the surface but underneath it all is an uncertainty as to whether or not I'm actually prepared for what the working world will throw at me.

And in a profession whereby every decision I make could potentially impact another person's life, I HAVE to be accurate. There really is no room for error. I guess it's a good thing I'm realizing it while I still have time to do something about it... But at the same time, I'm also afraid that I'll never be good enough.

Sometimes I envy those people who are so sure of themselves and what they're doing. Certainty is something I'd do anything to have. But no matter how much I read, how much I think about something, I'm never certain because I'm so aware of the possibility that something could be wrong, no matter how small that possibility is.

It's probably why I'm always saying "I think" and "I guess" and "probably"... I'm very wary of saying something that people may interpret to be a finality because I know very well that it never is. At least, when I'm saying it. Although I suppose one could argue that that knowledge is a finality in and of itself...

Argh! Is there any wonder why I confuse myself all the damn time? *sigh* Oh well...

Interesting observation of the day: Caucs who live in Malaysia for a long time/grew up here have the STRANGEST accent. I really don't know how to describe it but, yea... It's strange :P

Will do a small Malacca update when I'm feeling less out of sorts. With a few pictures. Hehe... The BBC strikes again, baby! ;)