Sigh.

It seems weird.. My posts lately have all had negative vibes. Today is no different. This morning I just realized something that I probably would have been better off not knowing, or realizing or whatever. Who would have thought that I would fall into the same hole I swore I wouldn't?

I had to unearth a painful memory in the hopes of helping a friend. I hope it did, I really do. I had no idea how much thinking about it would affect me. The memory of it still tears at me, even 2 years after the fact. The hurt has faded, but I don't think it'll ever completely go away. I guess he meant too much to me for that.

My advice to all who have someone really special to you, whom you've yet to tell - please, PLEASE forgo pride and do it! The feeling of "too late" is probably the worst thing ever. It can break you. Believe me.

"I just want you to know that
I've been fighting to let you go
Some days I make it through
And then there's nights that never end
I wish that I could believe that
There's a day you'll come back to me
But still I have to say
I would do it all again
Just want you to know"
- BSB : Just Want You To Know

Yeah. That about sums up a lot of stuff.

(I can't stop thinking about someone, although he is SO different from me, it's not even funny. Sigh. I do know how to get myself into situations.)