Elaine + Thinking = Potential Disaster

I've had a bit of time to think since yesterday.. Yeah. Exams are OVER, baby!

WOoooOOOooHOoooOOOoooO!

Okay. Digression over. Back to what I was thinking.

Well... I think I've written this same thing some time ago. Something about how it was impossible for a relationship to work if one party like the other party more than he/she liked him/her. I believe this was the actual quote:

"Another thing - loving someone more than they love you is not the best scenario. But having someone love you more than you love them isn't any better. Here's the way I figure it - in both cases, things like jealousy, discontentment, possessiveness are likely to crop up."
~ wildorchid 17, April 26 2005.

Oh gosh. You have no idea how TRUE that is! At that time I was just blah blah-ing as I usually do.. But now, gosh! I've just found out how TOTALLY true that is. And to think I said it all those months back.. Bloody freaky, I tell ya!

Hm. Anyhow, I figure I should stop making an ass of myself and start making decisions. Fast. Do I really want to be with a guy who likes me LESS than I like him? You know:

Him Like Me < Me Like Him

In Math speak. And what brought this about? Well, I was talking to Shih Chung the other day, and this was his response to my question about whether a guy's world would really revolve around the girl he liked:

"Yeah I guess it's natural. I mean the tendency is there that the guy would want to spend as many moments with the girl he likes. He'd think of her when he awakes, when he washes up, when he eats, when he works, when he clicks the mouse his mind would just wander.

"He'd wonder how she is, he'd wonder where she is, he'd wonder if she's well. The feelings are there, but it's whether the guy brings it out in the right way. You know, instead of being over-protective or obviously insecure.

"There are moments when he thinks of her and if he can't reach her, he can just stare at her picture for hours. Be enchanted with her smile, over and over and over again."

That's a direct quote, mind!

[Sorry Shih Chung! It was so beautiful a sentiment that I had to post it! *Puss-In-Boots eyes*]

God, he has the heart of a poet this guy... I'd give you a big hug, SC, but I think a better gift for you would be NOT to hug you, eh? :P
All right. Digressing again. See, THAT, right up there, is why I'm pretty much convinced that we're not on the same level, about this whole thing. No, not me and Shih Chung. Me and the OTHER guy. Sigh.

You see, I can't bring myself to accept anything less than 100 %. Things just don't work that way. But how'm I supposed to know huh? I mean, I could just assume that it's a two way thing and end up with a broken heart in the long run. Or I could just jump to the obvious conclusion and get out while I still have SOME smidgen of pride left. Not that there's much... Sigh.

And to think it isn't some gorgeous blue-eyed brunette who's reducing me to this. ARGH! Life is SO unfair, I tell you! MICHAEL! *sniffles* [Sorry, I had to say that].

Oh hell. I'm being ridiculous. But I can't help it. After all, tis my heart at stake, no?