Musings...

When I was younger, I dreamed about forever. Now, my dreams are coloured by the knowledge that life never really does turn out like we want it to.

As much as I want to dream, I can't help thinking ten steps ahead. Relationships can't be based on feelings alone. I'm no longer naive enough to believe that "love will find a way"...

You can't imagine the conflict that causes me. Being idealistic at heart, having to be realistic doesn't sit very well with me. And I don't know what to do with that realism... So much so I end up handling everything all wrong.

How do I communicate my worries without seeming defeatist? And how do I reconcile my feelings with the way I see things to be?

Sometimes cynicism is safer. You hurt less if you don't expect too much. And God help me, I'm expecting far more than I know to good for me and at the same time can't see how it'll all pan out!

Confusion, much? Sigh.