2 days to Christmas.
Somehow, this time, it feels just like any other weekend of any other month. There isn't that tingle of excitement I always get whenever Christmas is 'round the corner.
Sandy was right in a way.... As we get older, we get so caught up in the technicalities of Christmas (buying, baking, cooking..) that we actually forget to enjoy the season and it becomes just another bit of work to do.
I used to enjoy decorating the house. Now it feels more like housework. Or maybe that's coz if Yin hadn't been here, I'd have been doing the decorating alone. Which, frankly, isn't how the other Christmases used to be.
My tree now is pretty well decorated (if a little senget .. lol), but it doesn't have the charm of the trees that David and I used to painstakingly decorate as kids. Those trees were a mishmash of the oddest coloured decorations and moulting Santas, but there was a whole lot of enthusiasm behind 'em, and somehow the tree took on the sense of that and came alive!
Oh I know that sounds absurd, but to me, if everyone pitches in at Christmas, and we work together to bring in the season, then it becomes all that much better. Doing it alone somehow just makes it dull, lifeless almost.
I just want Christmas to have that spark again, that feeling of wide-eyed wonder. I miss it so much, that child-like anticipation while waiting for midnight on Christmas day.
All my life I've wanted to grow up - now that I have, I wish it hadn't happened so fast.
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