And The Greatest Of These..

I always understood the importance of emotional intelligence at head level but it's only lately that I'm coming to see why people put so much emphasis on it. The lack of it really plays havoc with my ability to love... Sometimes because I lack EI, others because someone else does. Either way, the effect is the same. I don't love like I should be doing.

So I made this list, of things in myself and others that irritate me, just so I know the things to look out for, and therefore pay closer attention to in terms of my reactions to them.

1. A person with a crazy IQ can still have an alarming lack of empathy, or even see no need for it -- which is, frankly, scarier.

2. Not realizing that listening is, most times, more important than talking and pushing to get our points across no matter what.

3. Having the idea that friendship is something we have a right to, and that we should be thanked for the things we do for the people we love. If it's out of love, it's a choice we make... expecting thanks just makes it another self-serving act.

4. Not knowing the difference between being optimistic but realistic as opposed to operating on the sort of blind idealism that sometimes creates more problems than we intend. Which is a shame, really, because our intentions tend to be good in instances like these.

5. Violating the unwritten rule that what is said between friends remains between them, unless permission is otherwise given. For me, this is a serious breach of trust - using information given in confidence to manipulate or threaten the people who entrusted us with it in the first place.

6. Is it really so difficult to ask politely for help? The world doesn't owe us its servitude.

7. Using sarcasm as a way to lash out at others is low. Very low. I will forever be sorry for stooping to that level, justified or not.

8. Heaping more pain and guilt on a loved one who is already suffering to satisfy our own need for "getting my own back".

We've all experienced one or more of these things, either as a recipient or the one having the lapse. It isn't pretty, is it? True, there are people we just can't get along with. So we keep our distance and maintain the peace with them, rather than engage in battles day in and day out that do nothing but wound both parties.

Funny how the simplest things in life are the hardest to do. Is there any wonder that "... the greatest of these is love"? There isn't anything that's harder to do but ultimately more rewarding than love. Now if only I could somehow learn to...