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I just realized something over the last couple of days: Insecurity is a REALLY scary thing.

It can do things to you that totally screws your mind up. You start analyzing everything people say and worse, you get paranoid.

Nah uh. Definitely not a good feeling.

What do I have to be insecure about? That's the thing - NOTHING! There is nothing to be insecure about simply because there's nothing there! Does that make sense? Well, it does to me.

But see, knowing something and actually doing something about it are two completely different things. I've thought and thought about it, and nothing I come up with can shatter the logic I know to be the truth.

Anyway, it really is useless pursuing this. Over the course of time (um.. did that sound long? It's more like a couple of months :P), I've come to realize that I've been deluding myself all this while.

I mean, the whole IDEA of it is brilliant: Brains, talent, humour.. what else could I want? Right?

But no. David is right. The human connection is probably.. no, make that IS.. what counts. He asked, "You know him, but do you know his heart?" Um okay.. Not in so many words, but I was stumped.

Ah, the wisdom of younger brothers. There's an infinite amount of truth in that. I don't know HIM. I don't know what makes him tick, I don't know how he'd react to a beggar on the street.. And I don't know how well we'd get along if we really got close. Like, intimate close.

Coz I AM the notorious guy-dumper. Sigh. I admit it. I'm not proud of it, but I do acknowledge that I have an extremely, horrifically short attention span.

So I've decided to give it a rest. Yeah yeah.. I know. My "give it a rest"s don't usually last very long.. But bear with me ok? :)