One Last Gripe

Do you ever get those weird feelings, where you want something to happen, yet you don't want them to? Because you know that if something does, everything is going to get so horribly screwed up. But you can't help but what it anyway. And then you think, why? Why put myself and everyone else through something so unimportant it doesn't even qualify a place on your to-do list. Which is usually a long list of unimportant things.

Sorry, Ju, your scraping hasn't worked. I'm still trying to figure out what to do to get rid of these awful, AWFUL feelings. They're totally screwing up my life, it's insane. And the funny part is - he is NOT my type at all. Not even close. But then again, I don't end up liking "my type" anyway. I always go for the total opposites. Hm. I suppose that's why all my relationships (if you can call them that) never last.

Maybe I shouldn't kid myself. What I want in a guy is so hard to find, even JU says I should get my head out of the clouds. (Note that it's Ju saying it. Means I'm waaaay out there :P). So should I lower my expectations and try and make something out of nothing? Or will I find something in what seems like nothing?

Oh crap. It's this kind of thinking that's the killer. Why WOULD anything happen anyway, you doink?! *whacks self on head* When am I going to get it into my head that feelings that aren't reciprocated are just not worth the self-torture? Heck. Maybe I'm a masochist (hey, I chose Form 6 and dentistry over college and Psych, okay? Lol!) but I seriously seriously find it hard to get out of ruts like this.

OKAY. Resolution: I shall not blog about nor pay any attention to said person any longer. If I do, whack my head. Whoever sees me after seeing that post.

Please. Do.